Women's Health: Psychology of puberty

General

In the four to five years of puberty, a child's mentality will become that of a woman. The two are very different and whilst each has its own attractions, the journey between the two is not always easy. Too much emphasis, however, can be placed on hormones. The characteristic difference in adult and child mentality is the appreciation of freedom and choice. Small children positively relish being organised and herded, whereas adults need to feel that any decision to co-operate was freely made.

Relationships

Parents and other adults

During puberty, the developing feeling of independence and individuality creates potential conflict between the girl and her parents. The adolescent invariably rejects some of her parents' principles as she begins to think more deeply about the basis for them. Similarly, the parents find it hard to stop giving well-intentioned advice that is often misinterpreted as interference by the adolescent. In order to get through this very difficult time with the minimum of upset, it helps for both parent and adolescent to respect each other, listen to each other's views and try to avoid angry, confrontational scenes. It often helps for adolescents to remember that their friends are having similar experiences and moods and that all adults have been through puberty too. As the girl develops confidence in herself and her own abilities, the moodiness settles. This is a sign that her body has become used to being adult.

Boys

During puberty, having a boyfriend gradually becomes one of the foremost necessities of existence. Underlying this change is a sexual awakening and appreciation of the attractiveness of boys. At first this takes the form of dreams and fantasies, usually for unobtainable boys and men, such as film or pop stars. Later this becomes a desire to touch and be touched physically. Such touching does not have to lead to sex. This is not just because of the danger of pregnancy or catching AIDS or other infectious diseases, although these are very real risks indeed. It is also because sex provokes very strong emotions and establishes a deep psychological bond which, if broken, will cause pain and disturbance of emotions.